Resolution 2009
I was planning to write about my New Year’s resolutions as a follow up to previous Xmas post but decided that resolutions are just an agnostic version of the same baloney we tout at Xmas with all that peace and goodwill to all men.
(I actually edited out several swear words from the preceding sentence so resolutions or not, I can’t quite escape my desire to improve myself much as it pains me.)
Also, resolutions seem a bit daft when when the mood of the times is one of of “wait and see what shit befalls us next”. No one is able to take any long term commitment seriously until they know how bad things will get. (Worst recession for 50 years – whoah, didn’t see that coming.)
Be that as it may, I still can’t help feel a perverse optimism at work, in my own life and the world around me. It’s like that hysterical period after a loved one has died when you feel as high as a kite just for being alive, all the time knowing you are going to crash when the endorphins run their course.
So while the mood is with me, I thought I should commit to screen those thoughts that are craving resolution.
I will start my own “thing”. Business seems to limiting a notion, hence thing. I know I have the ability to make money off the back of my knowledge, intuition and experience.
I need to educate myself further. I love learning and lazy, impatient as I am, I accept that structure is what I need to find fulfillment.
I must come to terms with my failings. I’m too self contained and secure in the knowledge that my own conscience will give me an easy ride not matter what I have done.
I’ll stop. Stop the envy, paranoia and all that negative shit at a moment’s notice in response to this hypnotic keyword that I am programming myself with right now: “Daddy”.
Happy 2009, here’s to world we make for ourselves.